Episode 3: 15K Poorer & Scared Shitless

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Welcome to the Reclaim podcast. I’m your host, Leah Van Dolder. I’m a weight loss Dietitian and mindset coach and this program is for you if you’re a busy working woman or female entrepreneur, and you’re ready to take charge of your health, you’re ready to lose weight and make lasting positive change in your life. The only kicker is that you’re on the brink of burnout, you’re exhausted, you are frustrated, you’re feeling discouraged and uncomfortable.

This is how I help my clients, giving you simple, practical and savvy strategies to help you achieve your goals while reducing your stress boosting your mood, your energy and your self confidence. To learn more about working with me, check out my website at leahvandolder.com Welcome to the show.

Hey, guys, welcome to this episode of the Reclaim Podcast. Today I’m going to talk about overcoming fear. And I’m just going to open up a bit about my own story and relate to you because I know what it feels like to have that feeling of total excitement and sheer terror all at the same time. And helping you overcome that fear of failure along your health in your weight loss journey.

Alright, so I don’t know if you guys knew this about me. But two years ago, I was working for somebody else. And I’m going to add in still working for somebody else, even though I’ve been dreaming about working for myself and owning my own business for oh my gosh, like since high school seriously.

And you know, when you have been thinking about something for so long. And what ultimately pushes you to take a massive step is you just have enough. You have you’ve had enough of listening to yourself, complain about the same things over and over. Do you know what I’m talking about?

And I mean, for my clients like this, how this may sound to you. And I’m just thinking of a woman Tiffany that I worked with a couple years ago. She’s like, you know what? I am so sick and tired of hearing myself complain about me having no energy, not being able to keep up with my kids, not feeling present in my life not being able to fit comfortably in my clothes. And I was sick and tired of hiding behind a layer of fat.

I felt like I was trapped in this body. And I wasn’t living the life that I was truly meant to live. Do you know what that feeling is? Like? Because I sure do. I felt exactly that way up until two years ago, when I finally decided to make the decision to take a chance.

Even though it’s completely terrified, and having faith in myself to actually take that step, and going in the right direction of being my own boss, right building a business. And the same thing can be said for yourself, right? A lot of times what holds us back in our small, comfortable life. And I’m not saying that to you know, offend anybody.

But I felt like I was I was living this small life. I was living a life that, you know, I just felt in my heart and like, you know what I meant to do more you know, that feeling. You’re meant to live large and just, you know, be in charge, take charge of your life. Take charge of your health, your weight, do something about it instead of complaining about it.

A lot of times, and I’m going to be honest with you, the fear of failure has held me back for a long time because I felt that I didn’t have what it takes. I would reason with myself, “How do I do all the things? How do I make it all work?” I had the vision of being my own boss, just like you have the vision of living a healthy and happy lifestyle. But how do the pieces all fit together? And you talk yourself out of it, and then you’re in your comfortable, safe zone where it’s all well and dandy until it’s not.

Ignorance is bliss until it’s not. And often, it’s this realization that pushes people into action when things get so bad that they’re like, “I’ve got to do something different.” I second myself, saying that I’m going to do something but not actually having the courage to do it. Let’s talk about overcoming that fear of failure.

I remember the day that I shelled out $15,000 to my business coach. It was the craziest thing that I have ever done. My armpits were sweaty, I was looking at my husband like a total deer in the headlights. I had no idea what I was doing. But I just did this, I forked over 15k and said yes to working with this woman for a year. I had no idea what I was doing.

But looking back, that feeling of excitement and fear, that’s the stuff you’re looking for. That’s a green light to say, “Hey, this is good stuff. Let’s keep going.” You should use that as a sign to push forward, not to retract back. To overcome that fear, I really had to look deep within and ask myself, “What are you going to regret more in 10 years? Just talking about it and not even trying because you’re scared that you might not be successful, or actually giving it a shot, even if you might fail?”

And there’s a difference between failure and quitting. A lot of women that I work with are like, “I tried this diet, but I failed it. And I’m really hesitant to try it again.” You are not a failure until you completely throw your hands up in the air and quit. Failing is a good thing. It’s how you learn. So instead of seeing failure as this horrible thing that you should protect yourself from, I like to think about failure as something that I want to fail forward with.

Life’s going to throw you curveballs all the time. Try your best. If it doesn’t work, fine. You’ll learn from that. Brush yourself off, have a little pep talk with yourself, say, “Hey, girl, I’m not a quitter, you’re in this for the long haul, you’ve got to keep going.” That’s the kind of self-talk that I’ve had to learn over the last couple of years. I’ve had to teach myself how to look at fear differently.

Instead of seeing fear as a warning sign to stay back, I’ve learned to look at it as a signal to give me the go-ahead. It’s like, “Hey, this is green light go time, you’re feeling scared right now. Great. This is a good thing.” So I invite you to start thinking about fear in the same way. Fear is a stepping stone. It’s a green light to advance, not a red light to abort the mission.

The other thing to consider revolves around overcoming fear, not exactly letting go, but instead, remembering all the other things that are waiting for you when you push through fear. So, if you’re constantly living in this state of fear and state of scarcity, it’s like, “Oh my gosh, like, what if this happens? Oh, I don’t know if I can do that. Oh, my gosh, this is so hard. And I’m never going to lose the weight that I want to… Oh my gosh, I got a birthday party coming up… Like, again, this is going to be terrible. I can’t lose weight.”

Instead of living in a constant state of fear and scarcity, you got to start looking for faith and abundance. That was a big mindset shift for me. Especially in the last year actually. I can relate to that feeling of being fearful and living in this space of scarcity. It’s like, “Oh my gosh, like, I don’t have any clients, like oh my gosh, I have enough money to pay my contractor this month or do I have enough money to pay my Social Media Manager?” Like, I don’t have enough, I’m not doing enough. That space of scarcity, it just sucks the energy right out of you. It’s a total waste of time to be hanging out in that zone.

It is such a better and more productive use of your time, your energy, and your mental capacity to focus on the things that you do have, focus on the abundance. Because have you ever noticed that when you are only focusing on the things that you don’t have, you just feel like you never have enough, you’ve never done enough, right? You’ve never accomplished enough when you’re focusing on what you don’t have, versus acknowledging the things that you have accomplished.

The things that you do have, it just puts you in this different headspace. Move on over into the abundance zone. And it’s amazing how quickly your perspective will shift. And of course, it makes a difference in how you’re feeling internally, right? If you’re thinking about all the great things that have happened for you over the years, the things that you have accomplished over, you know, even the last few months, right? Those positive thoughts, they absolutely have an effect on your feelings. You’re feeling more? Well, of course, you feel more positive, right?

You’re like, “Hey, cool, yeah, I can do hard things. Look at what I have accomplished. Have faith in yourself.” I like to think about, you know, chatting to yourself like you would your best friend. I mean, we are our own worst enemy, aren’t we, we are so hard on ourselves, our inner dialogue. It is brutal. It can be brutal. But it can just as easily be amazing and powerful.

And catching yourself when you are speaking down on yourself, it’s as simple as saying stop, I’m not going to talk like that. I don’t stand for that. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. If you’re feeling discouraged, if you feel like you’re not doing enough, if you are scared to take the next step, here’s how I would talk to you. I mean, you know, if I were to talk to my best friend, I would say, “Hey, this fear is a really good thing. It means that you are on the brink of doing something that you’ve been thinking about for a really long time. Don’t let fear hold you back. You are meant for so much more.”

And you know it, you wouldn’t have this desire to want to be so healthy and happy. You wouldn’t have that desire in your heart unless you were meant to carry it out. Yeah, things happen. But guess what, you’re really tough and you can get through it. Have faith in yourself. Look at what you’ve accomplished so far. If you can do that, you can do this. Keep going, you’re not a quitter. Having those little pep talks with yourself, I have to do that on a regular basis. And that really helps me overcome fear.

That was my message to my clients. And I’m kind of going back to Tiffany who I was chatting with at the beginning of the episode here. I asked her when we finished working together, because we had about a year and a half together. And she lost 50 pounds over that year. And she’s like, well, I asked her, I said, “What was the biggest mindset shift for you? What has been the biggest help?” And she said faith, having faith in myself, and having a journal every morning and writing down the things that I’m grateful for, the things that I have accomplished, not just weight related, looking for things that have you know, improved over the year and a half just because she has been you know, eating well and exercising and just doing the things that make you feel good.

Faith, living in faith and abundance. Your healthy and happy lifestyle is waiting for you and it’s all available to you. You know, this is not reserved for someone special. You’re that special someone, you’ve got everything it takes to achieve that healthy vision for yourself. All you got to do is step into that fear. Take action regardless of feeling the fear. That’s what courage is. Have courage, have faith and move forward.

If you want to learn more about working with me and my Reclaim program, check out the show notes to learn more about the program. There’s a link to my program video and my application and coming out with me on Instagram Live. Thank you so much for tuning in today, guys. I hope you love this episode and hey, if you haven’t reviewed or rated this episode yet, go do so now. Put a five-star rating, it really helps the episode reach other women that need to hear this message about overcoming fear as well.

Thanks so much for tuning in, guys, and we’ll see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Reclaim podcast. If you enjoy this episode, I encourage you to follow, rate, and review. To learn more about working with me, check out my website at leahvandolder.com. Thank you again for being here. It means the world to be able to connect with you. Keep doing amazing things. You have everything that it takes to achieve your goals and be successful at anything that you want.