Episode 22: My Personal Health & Weight Loss Journey – Part 1

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Welcome to the Reclaim Podcast. I’m your host, Leah Van Dolder. I’m a weight loss dietitian and a mindset coach. This program is for you if you’re a busy working woman or female entrepreneur. You’re ready to take charge of your health, lose weight and make lasting positive change in your life.

The only kicker is that you’re on the brink of burnout. You’re exhausted, frustrated, discouraged and uncomfortable. This is how I help my clients, giving you simple, practical and savvy strategies to achieve your goals while reducing your stress, boosting your mood, energy and self-confidence. To learn more about working with me, check out my website at leahvandolder.com. Welcome to the show.

Hey guys, welcome to this week’s episode of the Reclaim Podcast. I’m really excited to connect with you today. I know I say that every single week, but this one is going to be a really good one because guess what I am going to do over the next couple of episodes? I’m going to open up and be vulnerable and share my personal health and weight loss journey.

From my heaviest, I have lost and kept off about 20 to 25 pounds since. I’m at a place in my life now where I truly feel my strongest, my healthiest and my best. I wanted to share with you today where I was, what habits I was stuck in. Today, I’m going to tell you the biggest mindset shifts that helped me achieve this feeling in my body right now. So let’s get right into it.

Just to let you know, in part two of this series, I’m going to be talking all about nutrition and exercise strategies that have helped me not only lose the weight but keep it off long term while building a multi six-figure business and helping women from all over the place achieve their health and weight loss goals as well. So stay tuned for part two.

It’s funny, I was thinking about this the other day. I was having a conversation with a woman who’s interested in working with me. I was opening up and sharing with her my personal weight loss story. She said, ‘you know, I really appreciate this. Just hearing from you where you were at.’ Then I just thought to myself, I haven’t really talked about this on social. So here I am and I think it’s really valuable to share this with you.

To be honest with you, I think I didn’t share a lot about it because I was embarrassed. You know, being a registered dietician, right? It’s like, ‘oh, I should be able to figure this stuff out.’ It took me a while to figure it out, but here I am talking about it and relating to you because girl, I know what you feel like.

I know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable in your clothes, to be pulling on your clothes, to hate standing up in front of an audience and, doing a presentation because you feel so uncomfortable and you’re second guessing yourself. I know what that feels like. I didn’t realize the weight loss changes that have happened over the years until a few weeks ago.

We had our life insurance policy renewed and we had a nurse come into our house. She said, ‘hey, I’m going to get you to hop on the scale and take blood work and all that stuff.’ It just dawned on me, ‘holy smokes. I’m down about 20, 25 pounds since my heaviest when I left university. I was just in a rough spot. It wasn’t about the weight. It was about how I felt and I did not feel healthy. I did not feel strong. I did not feel 100% confident in my body.’

I didn’t realize until just a few weeks ago when that nurse came here. That was a big eye-opener to me. This plays into the mindset shifts that I’m going to share with you in this episode because they have worked so well for me. I know they’re going to work so well for you. So hang in here until the end.

If you haven’t taken the time to rate five star on this podcast, please do so now. It means so much to me and the growth of this podcast. I’m able to pump out these episodes every single week. The downloads, the five-star ratings, the reviews, it really helps the growth of this podcast. So thank you for taking the time.

I’m realizing too, for those of you who have never been here before, I’m just getting real deep into my personal story. My name’s Leah Vandolder. I’m a weight loss dietician and a mindset coach. I’ve been doing this for 10 years and I absolutely love it. I’m passionate about helping busy, career-driven women and female entrepreneurs just like you achieve lasting weight loss while radically leveling up your self-confidence.

You can dream big. You can do more. You can take those risks and live your happiest, healthiest and your best life. There is nothing that gets me more fired up than seeing more happy, healthy and proud women in this world. That’s why I do what I do.

Let me tell you about my crappy habits back at the end of university. Some of you know that I have a business coach and a mindset coach. He said to me the other day, ‘your habits are the window to your future.’ And isn’t that the truth? Your current habits are the window to your future. Isn’t that a wake-up call?

My current habits in university were not good and my future was bleak based on my current habits. I never realized until today, as I was writing all this stuff down, doing a script for this podcast, how emotional I was. I did not realize at the time how bad things really were. Maybe you can relate to this.

For those of you who, you know, I know a lot of you, listen, we work together or maybe we’ve worked together in the past, or maybe you’re on your own health and weight loss journey. And you honestly don’t even realize how bad of a place you were in until you get out of it. Right. It’s like being in a crap relationship, right? You can’t see how bad it is until you get out and you gain some perspective.

And that’s kind of what happened to me this morning. And I was, I was tearing up as I was just about to come on here as I seriously had no idea how, how bad it was until I got out of it and gained some perspective.

So let me tell you about some current habits, because I bet you, you can relate to, to some of them. Here’s the biggest one that came to mind. I was, oh, I was at a place in my life where I was almost using exercise as punishment. I was using exercise to burn calories. That was my mindset around exercise. And I got to tell you, I really didn’t look forward to exercise because that was my thinking process around it. I was exercising to see how many calories I could burn.

And to be honest with you, I was exercising to balance out an overindulgence. And I look back at it now, like myself, I’m like, Ooh, you know, it’s just cringe-worthy what I was doing. And I didn’t realize how bad it was. And what a brutal self-destructive cycle I was in because you cannot punish your way to health and weight loss. But yet there I was punishing myself and my poor choices. And I basically was telling myself, yep, got to make up for it.

Oh, well, I just ate 400 calories and cheesecake. I better go take a run. And I just felt so shitty about it. So that was bad habit number one that I was stuck in. So that was a current habit that, yeah, the window to the future did not look so bright.

Second one, I was calorie tracking every single day and not just calorie tracking, but I was literally trying to scrape by every day with eating like a thousand to 1200 calories, because I thought that that was, you know, the way to do it. Because that’s what other people were doing. That’s what people around me were doing. That’s what I was seeing on social media. Right. And that’s what I was hearing.

Actually, this thought is just coming to me, you know, hearing like the bare minimum that you should be eating is 1200 calories. So I’m like, oh yeah. Okay. Cool. Like that’s, that’s my goal. That’s my bare minimum. And now again, like, oh man, that is cringe worthy because at the time I didn’t realize like 1200 cows minimum, like sure. Yeah. It might be minimum for a five foot two woman who weighs 120 pounds, right? Or who’s 85 years old, but it’s not bare minimum for a woman that is, you know, a young woman who is like in her twenties coming into her thirties is very active.

Like I didn’t know the difference there. So I, I was not in a good spot and maybe you’re there too. And girl, I’m just saying like, I can relate to where you were. Like I can relate to how you’re feeling. I was there. I was using fitness pal tracking device every day and I was eating 1200 calories or try or striving, I should say striving for it.

And you know what else I was doing? I just felt so bad when I had a day that I went over, right? It’s like, oh my gosh, you know, I had 1800 or 2000 calories today. I’m a horrible person, unbelievable. And then I thought it was like my rational brain. I’m like, oh yeah, this makes sense to cut things out the next day.

So again, I was stuck in this cycle of punishing myself and trying to make up for an overindulgence. I was blaming myself. I was stuck in this really dark spot. And again, I had no idea how bad it was until like you gain perspective out of this. Like my future self right now is just like, I’m seriously squirming in my seat. I’m like, oh my gosh, if I could just grab my self by the hands 10 years ago and just say like, you are beautiful. You are, oh man, I’m like tearing up over here.

And you need to hear this too. You are beautiful. You are better than punishing yourself to health. And you are so worthy and deserving of more. You are so worthy and deserving of more. I may just compose myself here.

The other thing that I was doing, that bad habit that I was stuck in, I was skipping meals and this kind of tied in with that tracking, right? I was skipping meals as a way to, you know, bank up calories. And I really thought in my mind that it was a great thing to do to skip out on breakfast. This is unbelievable. And again, my cringe is coming in here.

You know what I was doing back in university? My breakfast was a stick of gum and a tea and I wouldn’t eat until like two o’clock in the afternoon. And you know what I would choose? Like a Delicioso pizza or two grilled cheese. And I would just stuff my face because I was absolutely starving. And I was like, oh my gosh, absolutely starving. Again, I’m squirming in my seat over here and I am relating to you because I know what it feels like.

And these are such horrible, horrible habits that are not going to get you to a place where you truly feel strong, sexy, healthy, and the best version of you. So I got to just take a pause here before I tell you about my two other horrible habits. But if you can relate to all of this stuff, we got to chat because honey, I want to get you out of it. It is such a brutal place to be and you are so much better than that. You deserve so much more.

Take a sec to pop on over onto Instagram, send me a message, send me a DM, say that you are listening to this message and tell me that you are ready for a frigging miracle because that is what you need. Or check out the show notes. I’ve got an application link there as well at my show notes.

So let’s delve into the two other horrible habits that I was stuck in a decade ago. They were not promising signs for a bright future. The first was binge eating. I wasn’t diagnosed with binge eating disorder, but I was definitely binge eating in the sense that I would starve myself all day long and then stuff my face mid-afternoon. The overindulgence and overeating usually happened at night. My thought process was, “I was so great today. I only ate 800 calories until dinnertime. Yeah, I can really overindulge. I deserve this. This is a reward for a job well done.”

But that quickly turned into a negative spiral. I was giving myself full permission to overindulge. It felt great for a few seconds, but it’s like a snap in your brain. You immediately go from this feeling of pure high to pure loathing. It is the worst feeling ever. That feeling of guilt and shame and frustration. It just hits you so much harder than those few seconds of pure joy as you’re stuffing cookies in your face. Yep, I was there. I was totally there.

The second habit was my totally warped thinking around food, my perceptions around food and not only food but my self image. My relationship with food was more of a crutch than fuel. Food was more of a crutch versus fuel. And it was almost like, I don’t want to say it was the enemy because it didn’t feel that intense, but you know what I mean, right?

I was tying a lot of meaning to foods, you know, fruits and vegetables and lean proteins were healthy, right? I even remember I was in like this vegetarian phase and I was eating like no protein again. I’m just squirming here in my seat, but this is where I was, you know, these very bleak habits. If they’re the window of your future, my current habits were not great. My future was not bright.

Now, I’m sitting here now and I am so, so grateful that I was able to get out of that. So let me talk to you about the biggest game changers. Like, how did I even start to get out of that? Because I know for some of you, if you’re stuck in this point and it feels like this monstrosity of a mountain to climb, or you feel so deep in a pit right now, you don’t even know where to start.

I was there too. This kind of goes back to not realizing how big of a problem it was. I was just becoming aware as I was in school for nutrition. I was working with a lot of psychologists and therapists because I worked in a healthcare setting and a team and I was coaching people on weight loss and making behavior changes.

It’s this cringeworthy stuff, but I almost felt like it was a total gift. I was helping myself as I was working with these family health teams. I was learning more about myself and healing myself as I was working with other women. It was like these parallel journeys. And for me, becoming aware of just how I didn’t feel good in my body. And I knew, I’m like, okay, there’s a tipping point here.

I am sick and tired of feeling uncomfortable, feeling absolutely stuffed into my jeans. I was done feeling uncomfortable with taking photos of myself. I was just done pulling out my clothes and I was done holding myself back. I was ready to stop hiding. That’s where I was at.

When you think about making a change in your life, right? And yeah, it can feel very scary, but also looking to at the deeper things that are affecting your life because of your warped perception around food, because of your weight and just not feeling great in your skin. Like for me, and maybe you feel the same, but I felt like other things were affected than just my body.

Physically, sure. Yeah, I couldn’t fit into my jeans, didn’t feel comfortable, was feeling changes in my energy. But it was trickling over into my focus. I was in school, I was, like, I was up early and I found that I couldn’t focus. I was less productive. I found that I was so good at making excuses. I was stuck in this negative head space.

I would talk myself out of doing things. It was trickling over into relationships. I didn’t feel as confident in relationships. I wasn’t standing up for myself. My standards were different. They weren’t as high as they are now. And two, I mean, that comes with age, but as I look back, I really notice these things within myself and it affected intimacy and relationships too.

I want to tell you now about big, big mindset changes that really helped me get a good handle on things. And the one thing too that I got to mention is I am so grateful for the, for the circle, the environment that was around me, because we are products of our environment.

You ever notice that? If your partner is supportive of you making healthy changes in your life, oh man, you’re going to go like, that is amazing.

Having a supportive partner who encourages and uplifts you when you take risks or pursue opportunities can make a tremendous difference in your life. When you have someone who believes in you and supports your growth, it becomes easier to embrace new challenges and step outside of your comfort zone. Their unwavering support can provide the motivation and confidence you need to pursue higher-paying jobs, even if they are farther away from home. It’s truly a remarkable feeling to have someone in your corner who celebrates your achievements and helps you overcome obstacles.

On the other hand, having an unsupportive partner or friends who are afraid of change can be a significant hurdle to your personal growth. If they try to hold you back or discourage you from pursuing your goals, it can hinder your progress and leave you feeling stuck. That’s why it’s crucial to surround yourself with a supportive circle of people who uplift and inspire you.

Personally, I am incredibly grateful to have had a supportive environment in my journey. I was fortunate to have parents, family, friends, and colleagues who believed in me and provided invaluable support. Surrounding myself with brilliant individuals who specialized in weight loss, including food therapists, psychologists, and experts in mindfulness and mindset, was a game-changer. Learning from their expertise and benefiting from their guidance allowed me to evolve and grow in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

During my transformation, I underwent three significant mindset shifts. The first one involved welcoming constructive conversations with myself. I became acutely aware of my thought processes, emotions around food, and self-destructive behaviors. Instead of criticizing myself, I embraced curiosity and initiated constructive conversations. I delved into understanding why I engaged in certain eating behaviors, such as skipping breakfast or overeating at night. I questioned the permission thoughts that allowed me to justify binge eating and then feel regret afterward. By adopting a curious mindset, I was able to rewire my thinking patterns and consciously choose the types of conversations I had with myself.

Part of this constructive conversation was the practice of journaling. I began writing down my thoughts and becoming aware of the mental processes that supported me in difficult situations. I identified triggers for my binge eating, such as feeling low or believing I had a good day because I stayed within my calorie limit. By recognizing these triggers, I could redirect my actions and choose healthier alternatives. Instead of isolating myself after a binge, I learned to call a friend, spend time with family, or engage in activities that removed me from triggering environments. These conscious decisions and regular practice helped me develop new habits and coping mechanisms.

The second mindset shift that greatly impacted me was giving myself permission to release the timeline. Placing a strict timeframe on weight loss or any other goal often leads to frustration and disappointment. We don’t have complete control over when we achieve certain outcomes. I encountered a similar challenge in my business, where I couldn’t control the timeline of success. By releasing the timeline and accepting that progress takes time, I relieved the pressure I had placed on myself. I realized that what truly mattered was my commitment to lifelong health and happiness. Embracing this perspective, both in my weight loss journey and business endeavors, allowed me to focus on showing up consistently and trusting the process.

Lastly, I gave myself permission to focus on the process rather than solely fixating on the desired outcome. This applies to both weight loss and business. Instead of obsessing over the number on the scale or the size of clothing I wanted to fit into, I shifted my attention to the steps I needed to take to achieve a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. This mindset shift involved building a constructive mindset, finding joy in exercise, planning nutritious meals, and developing self-respect and self-compassion. By falling in love with the process, I discovered that the outcome naturally followed. This perspective has been transformative not only for me but also for my clients, as I emphasize the importance of embracing the journey and celebrating small victories along the way.

Ultimately, the most significant realization I had was that no one else can save you. Taking ownership and responsibility for changing your own life is essential. You have the power to make the decision to be the best version of yourself, to thrive, and to pursue your dreams without hesitation. It may sound harsh, but it’s a reality I faced years ago. Nobody is going to change your life for you; you must make that choice with unwavering confidence. Embrace the fact that you are unique, and you possess the ability to positively impact the world. To achieve this, action is required. Don’t just think about what you want—take the necessary steps to turn your aspirations into reality.

As we conclude part one of this series, I encourage you to start somewhere by seeking help. I’m here for you, ready to guide you on the path to success. All you have to do is take that first step—reach out, message me on Instagram, and share your thoughts on this episode. Let me know if you can relate to my experiences and if you’re ready to make a change in your life. Remember, I am committed to transforming your life, and I’m not going anywhere. Take action today and begin your journey towards a healthier, happier, and stronger self.

Have you ever noticed how the level of support from your partner impacts the changes you make in your life? If your partner encourages your efforts towards a healthier lifestyle, it’s a fantastic feeling. When they back your decision to leave a secure job for a higher paying position that may be further away from home, it’s incredibly empowering.

On the other hand, having an unsupportive partner or friends who fear change and attempt to hold you back from pursuing greatness is problematic. I’m grateful to have had a supportive network surrounding me in my journey, providing a conducive environment for learning, growth, and evolution. My family, friends, and colleagues offered invaluable support, helping me transition into a better version of myself.

I was privileged to be in the company of brilliant minds. Learning and training from some of the best people specialized in weight loss, food therapy, and psychology provided me with the necessary tools to understand the mindfulness and mindset required for weight loss. This learning experience was a total game-changer for me.

There were three significant mindset shifts for me. The first was welcoming constructive self-dialogue. I became acutely aware of my thought process, my emotions around food, and my self-destructive behavior. Instead of being critical, I adopted a curious approach, inviting constructive discussions over destructive ones.

I began asking questions about my eating behaviors, such as why I was skipping breakfast or overeating at night. What were the self-permissive thoughts that encouraged binge eating and led to feeling awful afterwards? In seeking answers, I moved beyond just curiosity to deliberately determine the type of conversations I wanted to have with myself.

I began to write down and journal about the thought processes that aided me in dealing with various situations. I became aware of my triggers—realizing that binge eating was more likely when I was alone, feeling low, or when I felt successful because I stayed under my calorie count for the day. Recognizing these patterns, I started implementing changes.

If I wanted to feel better in the long term, I had to try something different. Instead of isolating myself in my room after dinner, I decided to go for a walk. If I was alone at home, I consciously chose to call up a friend or my mom or simply step out of the house. By doing so, I removed myself from the triggering environment and practiced a new, healthier routine.

The second significant mindset shift was granting myself the freedom to release the timeline. When you set a strict timeframe for your weight loss, it can become a hurdle. We don’t have complete control over when we lose weight, just as I don’t have full control over the timeline of when things will happen in my business.

To alleviate the pressure, it’s essential to let go of the timeline. I asked myself whether the journey to a healthy lifestyle was something I’d be committed to for the rest of my life. The answer was a resounding yes. I realized that the pace of my progress shouldn’t matter as long as I continued to show up for myself.

The third mindset shift was to concentrate on the process of getting healthy and losing weight, rather than obsessing over the desired outcome. I teach this to my clients, urging them to stop focusing on the scale or the size of clothes they wish to fit into. Those are outcomes that will naturally follow once you commit to and embrace the process.

Falling in love with the process involves establishing a constructive mindset, exercising for fun and enjoyment, and planning and consuming food that nourishes and energizes your body. It’s about standing up for yourself, setting standards, and honoring them.

In reality, no one’s coming to save you, and that might sound harsh, but it’s a reality check I had to confront years ago. You have to take full ownership and responsibility to change your own life. The decision lies with you to take action with full confidence and decide that there’s no other option but to become the best version of yourself.

You are here on this earth to thrive, to walk down the street with your head held high, and to do whatever you want to do without second-guessing yourself. To reach that place and become that woman, you need to change. You can’t just think about what you want; you have to take action on it.

As we close off part one of this series today, remember that you have to start somewhere. Reach out and ask for help. I’m here to guide you on the path to success. Take a step today—reach out, message me on Instagram, apply to work with me, or simply share this episode.

Thanks for tuning in today. It was wonderful to connect with you on such a deep level. In part two, I’ll be discussing my personal journey to health and weight loss, sharing the nutritional and exercise strategies that have led me to be the healthiest, happiest, and strongest version of myself.

Thanks for tuning into this episode of the Reclaim Podcast. I encourage you to follow, rate, and review. To learn more about working with me, check out my website at www.leahvandolder.com. I’m here to make a difference in your life, and I’m confident that I can transform your life. All you have to do is take the first step. Thanks again for being here. Keep doing amazing things because you have everything it takes to achieve your goals and succeed in anything you set your mind to.