Epiode 13: Digging Deep Into Your Relationship With Food

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Welcome to the Reclaim podcast. I’m your host, Leah Van Dolder, I’m a weight loss dietitian and mindset coach and this program is for you if you’re a busy working woman or female entrepreneur, and you’re ready to take charge of your health, you’re ready to lose weight and make lasting positive change in your life. The only kicker is that you’re on the brink of burnout, you’re exhausted, you are frustrated, you’re feeling discouraged and uncomfortable.

And this is how I help my clients, giving you simple, practical and savvy strategies to help you achieve your goals while reducing your stress boosting your mood, your energy and your self confidence. To learn more about working with me, check out my website at leahvandolder.com Welcome to the show.

Hey, guys, welcome to this week’s episode of the Reclaim podcast. I’ve just got a big old smile on my face, like every time that I come in to connect with you guys, because I just love it so much. And honestly, I just wanted to start off this episode by saying thank you so much for choosing to follow along here cuz seriously, like, you could choose to spend your time doing anything else. But you’ve chosen to hang out with me. And for that. I’m expressing my gratitude for you.

This is gonna be a really cool episode. I love talking about this stuff. And for those of you who know me, I just love getting into the deep meaningful conversations versus just the surface level stuff. So we’re going to talk about your relationship with food today. And really help you uncover some things that you probably had no idea. We’re there. So strap in. We’re gonna go deep real quick here. Let’s have some fun.

All right, so I love to read. And I’ve been reading a ton of business books and inspirational reads. And I started reading this one called financial feminist by Troy Dunlop, so good. And very interesting. In her first chapter, she’s talking about the emotions of money. And you’re probably like, Leah, why are you even talking about the emotions of money like this is a mindset and food weight loss podcast?

Well, surprise, surprise, there are a ton tons of similarities between your money mindset and your food mindset. I’ll highlight those today. But why I’m talking about this is because Tory’s talking about a really great kind of reflective exercise in her first chapter around the emotions of money. And I talk a lot about this with my clients emotions around food, because there are minimal people in the world that can say, oh, yeah, I just eat to live like the majority of us are like, well done, I live to eat like I’m a total foodie, I love food.

You know, so your emotional relationship with food is really powerful. And that’s what I mean to buy a lot of women saying, Well, I just I live to eat, you know, it’s so much fun. There’s so much enjoyment. There’s so much social, like love and connection with food, right? Like you can’t deny that. So I want to ask you a question that will bring up some very interesting things and maybe some emotions around food and can really bring to light your current relationship with food.

So I want you to think back, what are some of the very first memories that you have around food? Those very first memories around food. And I’m pausing here, because I know you’re thinking over there, it could be one of your very first memories, it can be a very prominent memory. Because for a lot of my clients are like, well, it wasn’t my first memory. But this memory is like drilled right into my brain.

And I can just remember, it’s like I was there. You know, it just brings me back to that time because I totally remember how that event or that experience made me feel very like we are emotionally driven creatures. So we remember how we feel in a situation. We may not remember what people said to us, but we remember how that situation made us felt. So your first memory around food and while you’re thinking about it, would you be cool if I shared mine?

So one of my first memories of food it’s so funny. So I grew up in a big family and God bless my mother Kelly shout out to Kelly she got us in the kitchen really early. And she taught us how to just handle food from a very young age, right we were in their chair I’ve been prepping food with her. And my very first memory is making lunches. I can’t even remember how old I was. But young, like we were really young.

And I remember having a little stepstool, too, or like grabbing one of the chairs from the table and like pushing it up against the island. So I could actually sit there or stand up there, and then, you know, have a pretty good lay of the land while I’m prepping my lunch. Like, that’s how small I was. And my memory around it was, it was happy. You know, it was a it was a good memory around it.

And I remember my mom, she’s like, Okay, kids, like you’ve got choices here. So we’re going to have one fruit snack, we’re going to have one vegetable snack, and you can have a sweet snack or a salty snack. That’s my memory. It’s like me and my three younger brothers all lined up along the counter, we’re like putting our lunches together, we’ve got food all over the place, we’ve got choices. And there was never any talk around like, Okay, this is healthy, or this is unhealthy.

But it’s like, Hey, you get to have a choice of a fruit of a vegetable of a sweet or salty, you get to choose that and you get to put it in your lunch, and then we’re going to take it to school next next morning. That’s my very first memory around food. Now, I know that that is quite a special memory. And not everybody’s memories have that, you know, joyful tune to it.

A lot of my clients experience memories, such as, you know, not having enough money to buy food, right, there’s that there’s the lack of finances to support. nutrition in the home. Buying food was food stamps, you know, having a lot of white bread or canned foods or, you know, living paycheck to paycheck and getting some really good foods at the beginning of the month, and then really having empty shelves and fridges by the end of the month.

Other memories, you know, being forced to eat everything on your plate, you’re probably thinking of that memory where your mom your grandma made you eat that disgusting pea soup, or those mushy peas and that piece of fishing, you friggin hated it. And you weren’t make you leave until you ate it. And it was the worst experience of your life.

Maybe it was around restriction, right, a couple of clients that I have you been over the last month or like, Well, my first experiences were, you know, my mom saying that I couldn’t have cookies, even though my brother could, because he was smaller than I was like he wasn’t, you know, quote unquote, chubby like I was as a kid.

So already from a very, very young age, these these memories, these emotions around food are happening within your brain. And as a kid, I mean, you have no idea, you have no idea that this is happening. They’re totally subconscious. All of these thoughts, these memories, these experiences are really burrowing and routing into your subconscious. And they’re popping up all over your adult life if you’ve never actually talked about these things, or become aware of them before.

So you’re probably having some major AHA is over there. You’re like, holy shit, like No wonder. I feel like I have to eat everything on my plate, or I have this massive like, feeling of scarcity within me when there’s like some sweets or some goodies around. I feel like I have to gorge myself because they’re never going to be there again. Like these things are driving your eating behaviors.

This is how I help my clients right first of all, bringing awareness to it. Second of all, rewiring reprogramming your brain. So you can really, I don’t want to say heal, but rework your relationship with food. And stop beating yourself up about your your eating choices or stop making foods such an emotional burden. You know, like, I almost feel like I could stop this podcast right here, because you’re the I know, this is just blowing your mind.

What else can I say here today? Here’s what I wanted to ask to. around that, that memory. What things did that memory teach you around food? Because this is a really good question to like really dig in deep here, because this has everything to do with your current relationship with food.

So for me going back to my example, what did making lunches with all my brothers and having all these choices and having the support of my parents? What did that memory teach me about food and what does that have to do with my current relationship with food? While the things that stand out from me or stand out to me from that example would be freedom of choice. We had choices.

And there was never any You know, Pooh poohing on, like unhealthy or healthy foods, right? Food was food, there was no good, there was no bad, I had freedom of choice around food. The other thing that comes to mind is balance, right? Balance of, hey, I can have fruits, vegetables, and I can have a sweet snack if I want to. The other thing is prepping ahead, right? The fact that we were all in the kitchen together making food for the next day, that taught me from a very, very young age without me even realizing it at the time, but the value of prepping and planning ahead.

So you think to your memories, your very first memories or experiences with food? What did those teach you? You know what things come to mind? Or how did that program your current relationship with food? So some examples, I mean, even over the last couple of weeks with my client examples of like the programming within their brain is like that explains a lot around my clear the plate mentality, I eat everything on my plate, regardless of if I’m full or not, because I’m feeling like I’m wasteful. So it teaches them overconsumption, and completely ignoring fullness and satisfaction cues.

Another example that comes to mind would be, you know, the scarcity mindset of like, oh my gosh, these trees are never going to be available again. So when they are like, let’s just go buck wild on them, and then you feel like crap afterwards. So that experience from a child that teaches that that scarcity mindset, and it, it almost drives you to over consume, and almost hoard, hoard food or over consume, because you feel like you’re never going to get it again.

So those are some examples that are coming to mind. Another one that’s popping up, in my mind is kind of going back to the cookie example, right? This woman was saying, like, my mom would not allow me, she would hide food for me, she would restrict food, because I was the chubby kid. And my brother was the skinny kid, he was allowed to eat everything that he wanted to, but my mom restricted me. So that absolutely has carried through in tour adult life.

And she’s like, I feel ashamed when I, you know, have a cookie. And it’s a lot of self sabotaging behavior around food, like I have a terrible relationship with food, because I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I’m sneaking food, because I feel like I’m not allowed to do it. Or somebody’s going to reprimand me because I just ate cookies, or just had a piece of cake when quote unquote, I’m not allowed or I’m not supposed to.

So you see how deep this stuff goes? A lot of my clients this morning, she’s like, Oh my gosh, I’m so glad I’m working with you. You know, she’s uh, what did she say? She’s like, I’m a firm believer that I don’t know everything. And it is so good to reach out for expert help with all this stuff. Because she’s like, I would have never been able to figure this stuff out on my own. And I asked her this question, tell me about your first memories around food and she instantly burst into tears. So you gotta get this shit like, out of the way gotta clear the fog clear, that mess to really uncover like, what is actually the root cause of your eating behaviors?

What’s driving you to over consume or under consume? And what are the things that have shaped your relationship with food? This is what’s so fascinating to me. You know, I started working in the world of weight loss 10 years ago, and I learned so fast that weight loss has less to do about food. And it’s got more to do about our mindset, or thought processes, our early childhood, our habits, and our psychology. And that’s what brings me so much joy when working with clients because it’s like we get to the deeper issues here because no meal plan no two week challenge at the gym, nothing like that is going to help you uncover the root of your eating behaviors and change that for good.

That’s what I do. That’s what I do. That’s what makes me different than any other weight loss dietitian out there. I help you achieve lasting weight loss while radically leveling up your self confidence and building a healthy relationship with food. Like it can’t get any better than that. If you’re loving this episode so far, go rate five star and review this episode. It honestly helps the growth so much. Plus it allows me to pump these things out every single week so I can chat to you guys. And you know what, maybe you are experiencing all the fields over there.

Maybe some very challenging and hurtful emotions are coming up and I just want to validate those and say thank you for doing these exercises with me, thank you for going there into your memory bank and thinking about this stuff. It’s hard. It’s really hard. And I am acknowledging your courage of doing that. And girl, if you’re looking to chat a little bit more about this stuff, send me a message on Instagram, come follow me, if you’re not following me already @Leahvandolder, and apply to work with me. I mean, you’ve been looking for somebody like me for ever, I’m just gonna say it, I’m just going to be your consciousness here, like, just reach out, like, Seriously, what’s the worst thing that can happen?

Send me a message on on Instagram, or check out my show notes. There’s an application link to work with me. We’ll talk about your goals, we’ll see if we’re a really good fit, and we’ll catch you’re going, we’ll get you achieving your goals with confidence, and have fun along the way. Alright, so this has been a deep one today, guys, I told you I wasn’t lying when I said we’re just going deep real fast here. So we talked about your first experiences with food and how or what lessons that taught you as a kid. And, you know, I just wanted to bring awareness that really was the objective of this episode today was bringing awareness around how deep your relationship with food and your current eating behaviours go.

And, you know, I’m a really good person to hang out with when you’re working towards your weight loss goals, because they get deep into the thought process of things. Because that’s where true change happens. You got to be able to tap into that stuff, get deep in your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors. That’s what’s so life changing and transformative about working with me. So apply to work with me, check out my show notes, there’s a link there.

Now that you’re aware of this stuff, I do want to let you know too, that there is massive hope and a light at the end of the tunnel for this stuff. Because the cool thing is about your brain is that it is so plastic, meaning that it can change. And you can absolutely rewire that program within your brain, you can heal your relationship with food, and you can get enjoyment out of food you can stop, you know, fantasizing about it and thinking about it all the time. I’ve got a three step process to help with that. It’s called the three C’s of creating change that is specific to my reclaim coaching program. It is absolutely life changing and helps so many of my clients not only feel good about their or feel good about their behaviors, or really transform their relationship with food themselves or body plus the added bonus or byproduct of all this stuff.

They lose weight along the way. You’re relieving so much pressure and buildup and energy throughout their body from holding on to so much hurt and pain and maybe some trauma from the past. So it really is totally transformational. Three C’s of creating change that is specific to my recruiting coaching program. Check out my show notes guys there’s an application link to apply to work with me.

This wraps up this episode for today. I hope you’ve really found this episode enlightening. I’ve really enjoyed connecting with you on a really deep level. I want to thank you again for your time and intention. And I’m so excited to keep these conversations going. We’ll catch you in the next episode. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Reclaim podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, I encourage you to follow rate and review. To learn more about working with me check out my website at leahvandolder.com Thank you again for being here. It means the world to be able to connect with you, girl keep doing amazing things. You have everything that it takes to achieve your goals and be successful at anything that you want.