Episode 11: Menopause – Weight Loss, Confidence, and Empowering Mindset Shifts

[Auto-Generated Text]

Julia Leslie

I know as a woman, because I am a woman, we tend to put ourselves at the bottom of the totem pole, right? We take care of everyone else in our lives. And we don’t always take care of ourselves the way we don’t put ourselves first all the time. And what I’ve realized is that I need to be 100%, I need to feel good for everything else to work really well around me and that I am worth that. Yeah, I know, we hear this all the time where we’re just inundated with it on all the social media and stuff, but it is true. It really comes down to what are you worth, and sometimes we look at the cost of something and we’re like, Oh, that’s too much. I don’t have that money, or that’s too expensive. But if your child needed that, you would do it and you would find money, right.

Leah Van Dolder

Welcome to the Reclaim podcast. I’m your host to Leah Van Dolder. I’m a weight loss dietitian and mindset coach and this program is for you if you’re a busy working woman or female entrepreneur, and you’re ready to take charge of your health, you’re ready to lose weight and make lasting positive change in your life. The only kicker is that you’re on the brink of burnout, you’re exhausted, you are frustrated, you’re feeling discouraged and uncomfortable. And this is how I help my clients, giving you simple, practical and savvy strategies to help you achieve your goals while reducing your stress boosting your mood, your energy and your self confidence. To learn more about working with me, check out my website at live and older.com Welcome to the show. Welcome, everybody to this week’s episode of the Reclaim podcast. I’m your host Lee Evander older, and I am so excited to interview my second guest, a friend and client and also fellow aerial silks. person I don’t know. Yeah, aerial silk silk is to I don’t know if that’s the right word. But anyways, Julia Leslie is here with us today. Julia, thanks so much for being here.

Julia Leslie

Well, thank you, Leah. This is like really super exciting. And I’m I was really thrilled when you asked me to do this.

Leah Van Dolder

Good. Good. Well, I’m so excited to chat today because we’re talking about menopause today, everybody. And it’s such a hot topic, pun intended. And I think, you know, it’s not talked about enough. And I mean, here on the Reclaim podcast, we’re all about real real life, real stories, real woman and just having a real, honest, open conversation about menopause. And, I mean, like Julie and I were just saying before we press record here, but just having that open conversation around nutrition and exercise and self image through all ages and stages of our life. So that’s what we’re gonna be talking about today. So you know what, Julia, why don’t you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself?

Julia Leslie

Leah Van Dolder

I have grown children.

Julia Leslie

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I realized I’m a mature woman now. Because my kids are so we’re still working on the mature part. So

Leah Van Dolder

always always, right. Yeah.

Julia Leslie

Yeah. Yeah.

Leah Van Dolder

Yeah. I said, this was my last guest. But that’s a good nutshell. Because she said the same thing. That’s me in a nutshell. Yeah, it’s good too. And because it gives her listeners, you know, perspective, right. And I like the language too, right. And maturity and age and stage of life where, I mean, when we chatted, like this was a handful of months ago now, but I remember, you know, you kind of were at a point in your life, there was a bit of that tipping point and you were seemed like you were really ready to make some change. So you know, what, why don’t you tell our listeners a little bit about your experience with menopause? Like what was it like like think like it? Yeah, go now.

Julia Leslie

Yeah. So it probably started for me around 52-53 And I was actually it was pretty lucky. Some women go through that whole spotting, you get your period, you don’t get your period, that kind of thing. So in that respect, I was really kind of lucky because that happened to me once I had. No, I didn’t have my period for three months. I was like, yes, it’s happening, right? Like, oh, yeah, no, no period. This is great, right? And then three months later, I got it again. And it was like, okay, that’s fine. And I thought, Okay, this is it’s starting. And so then I had it for another few months. And I just have to share this story, because it’s just so funny. At that time, I was working at an at an office and one of the ladies she was younger, she’s actually my daughter’s age. And they were using one of those diva cups, right? And this whole conversation about the Diva Cup, or like, oh, I don’t know if I can do that, like, stick that thing out my p&l, and just the whole pulling it out. Like it seemed really gross to me, right. And so when the wage goes, we’ll just do it and blah, blah. And I’m like, Well, what if I don’t like it, or I said, With my luck, I’ll order I’ll get this thing. And I’ll have my period once, and that’ll be at. So I ordered it. And I used it once. And then my period stopped. And it was the end of it. So it was just so funny. So that’s how it happened. For me, my periods stopped first. So you know, it was nice not to have that period. But worry about all that all the horrible aspects of cramps, then everything that goes with having your period, but then it kind of started then later on, I started kind of getting those hot flashes. Or for me, there were warm flashes again, I was feel very fortunate in that respect. Like I didn’t get all that drippy, sweating stuff. But what would happen for me that internal flame would start my cheeks would just go superduper red and like it was just a big joke in the office, like people knew when I was on fire, like internally on fire as my cheeks which is light up, but that’s just kind of the way it happened for me. And then the moodiness, all that kind of stuff. You know, I went from them, and usually a very patient, calm person. And I went from that to sort of turning into this irritated. Can I say things like, Well, I’m just gonna say that you want but I went from being like, Ah, maybe passive aggressive to just being aggressive. And like, things are coming out of my mouth, and I’m like, Oh, my God. But in a way, it felt really good and empowering. I’m like, Yes, I finally grew my lady balls, like,

Leah Van Dolder

My lady balls have dropped.

Julia Leslie

Yeah, they finally I finally found them. And so that side of menopause was really empowering, right? Like it really was. And so, you know, I came up with this sort of, like little term for me, that kind of made it all made sense. And it was just, I won’t say it, but it’s the F it 50s. And it’s not like, you know, it’s not like Fu and F that an F if it was just like, an effort, like you just stopped stressing about all the things that you used to stress about, right? Like, it just changes, right. So that that was a good part. That was also a good part. But then I had surgery on my knee. And I tore my ACL a whole other story. But I’m more what needed to have surgery. And I just found it really difficult after that time to get to like get myself back again, like I have always been able to, like think about losing five pounds, and then I would lose five pounds. Like it was never really a big problem for me to to lose weight. When I wanted to lose weight. I never really had a struggle with my weight, before menopause. And so this was like really new for me. It was just something that I hadn’t ever dealt with in my life. And so I gained probably about 10 pounds after my surgery. And I just didn’t feel like myself after that. I mean, I started working out and doing the rehab and stuff. And it just took a long time. I felt like a full year for my body to really recover and then like the weight just was not dropping off even when I started getting active again. And I think at that point, I realized, okay, something just isn’t aligning here something I’m eating what I think is good. And because I’ve always been a fairly healthy eater, and it just wasn’t working the way it always had worked. Right. So I knew there was changes in my body for sure. And I knew I couldn’t do this alone anymore because what I was doing it just wasn’t working. Right so that at that point, it was like okay, I need some help. I I need some direction. Because if I could do it on my own, I’d be doing it. Right. I would be doing it if I if I knew how to do it properly on my own. So that’s when it was like, Okay, well, I’m gonna do this because I just wanted to feel like myself again, I wanted to feel good. And my body wanted my clothes to fit the way they were before. And yeah, so that’s that was kind of that was the motivator. And that is what had me seek out your help.

Leah Van Dolder

And you know what, I want to thank you for all of that, because so relatable, right? And I think so many of our listeners, too, it’s like, hey, like, I feel like some days I have turned into this aggressive person to or, you know, it’s just talking about the the real changes in body and hormones and mood and mental health. And I think you totally nailed it to Julia with just not feeling comfortable in your body. And I mean, the amount of like, the number on the scale, like, that didn’t matter. But what what mattered most is you did not feel comfortable. That’s right.

Julia Leslie

Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, I just, you know, and then that, you know, you feel sluggish, you’re like wearing you know, I’m wearing like these baggy er clothes. I mean, COVID probably didn’t help that much either. But, but you’re wearing these clothes to kind of, you know, you sit and you’re just like that. They just wasn’t, it just wasn’t comfortable. Everything felt tight. And it was interesting, because when we talk about mindset, like I’ve always had, I was always sort of in a corporate environment. So you know, suits, and I’m the type of personality where I kind of like those classic cuts, and everything was very, I wouldn’t say snug or to you too tight on my body, but just fitted. And I was used to being able to look in the mirror and go, Oh, yeah, that fits good. And I like the way that looks. And then I’m putting my clothes back on. It’s just like, it was like, you know, what is this squishy?

Leah Van Dolder

Where the hell this come from? Because my

Julia Leslie

mind is still going I could fit into these clauses is what I always, always would wear like, this is the you know, like, this is for me is comfortable. And then I’ll in all this sudden now wearing those fitted clothes obviously. isn’t comfortable anymore. So yeah, so I just needed to take control of that. And yeah,

Leah Van Dolder

yeah, I like the language. They’re like taking control taking charge. And this kind of rolls real nice into my next question here, but because I remember the day that you were talking about, like, almost like this radical acceptance. I don’t know if you remember that day. But it’s like, was there anything in particular that you remember, you know, even over the last couple years, like any radical acceptance that you experienced, that really helped you take charge and just feel that power?

Julia Leslie

Like, I got this now? Yeah, yeah, let’s hear it. I mean, first of all, the just stepping out of my comfort zone and asking for coaching, right? Yeah, that was one big radical thing. The second thing I remember about a month into working with you and doing some changes, and I had lost a few pounds, I think, and we I can’t even remember what we were talking about. But I’ve just remember at that point, I went, I realized that my subconscious thinking was still running the show, right? It was still wanting to operate in the same behavior and do the same habits that I always had. Right? Yeah. So when I realized that I was still operating from that old mindset, in my subconscious thinking, that I needed to create something new, I needed to create a new mindset, because the old one was not working and was not getting the results that I wanted to see and get, right. So that was a huge one. Because without that, you know, you keep running the same pattern, and you keep doing the same things over and over again, that pattern needs to be interrupted. So I’ve created a new affirmation for myself, and I repeated it over and over and over and over and over, in my mind every day to really have it penetrate into my subconscious thinking. My new way of thinking, right, yeah, so that was that was a very big turning point for sure. Yeah.

Leah Van Dolder

No, I was just gonna say and I think too like just to give con Thanks to our listeners, but that old mindset, and correct me if I’m wrong here, Julia, but it was kind of like I can, even though I’m in menopause, I can still eat and drink the way that I do. You know, that?

Julia Leslie

That’s totally, totally what it was, you know, and I think there was that just that level of acceptance to that, okay, this is where I am in life. This is I’m in menopause. But it’s happening. So there was a bit of a, you know, you have to accept it and just kind of go, Okay, this is what’s happening to my body, I need to make some changes, I obviously don’t need as much food as I did prior to that, or I’m not burning it the same way or whatever it is, whatever that hormone shifts happens, right? during menopause, your eating habits need to align to the requirements of what your body now needs.

Leah Van Dolder

Absolutely. And I think that’s so it doesn’t matter where you’re making change in your body, whether it’s, you know, your nutrition, and fitness and menopause, or, you know, a change in work or like, whatever. But when we want to change our reality, I think it’s really important. And even for myself, like creating a business and being an entrepreneur, it’s like, having that radical acceptance of okay, well, what I’m currently working, or what I’m currently doing isn’t working. So I have to take personal responsibility to change this for myself. And that radical acceptance of like, you were just saying to Juliet’s, okay, this is happening to me, and this is a real thing that I, if I want the the body and feeling comfortable and amazing in my skin, well, then I gotta make some changes, having full acceptance of that. And that’s what I love so much like, even when, within that first week of working together, I remember that I’m like, All right, like, let’s go. Go.

Julia Leslie

Yeah, I was just so ready to mean, I’ve done a lot of years of transformational work. So I knew there was something I was not seeing, there was just something in my subconscious thinking or behavior or pattern that I wasn’t seeing. So at that point, I knew that for me to make that change, I needed to I needed a coach to help me uncover that like to bring it to the surface, and go, okay, yeah, bringing these things to the surface, is sometimes unpleasant, right? Like it just is, and but on the other side of that, you get a big breakthrough. And then you start getting the results that you want to get, right.

Leah Van Dolder

Yeah, I want to share with our listeners, and we’ll fast forward just a little bit to some of the results, right, and then we’ll talk about how you got there. But you know what, like, tell me how you’re feeling in your skin. I mean, you’re radiant right now, like people could see you right now you’re radiating. Tell me how you feel

Julia Leslie

like, well, I feel that I absolutely do feel radiant. You know, now that I, you know, I’m back working out, I really feel the best and the strongest I have felt in like years, it’s been years since I like literally, this is the best I have ever felt. And I think I don’t know if you hear that a lot from women that are in their 50s. But you go, you’ve gone through so many experiences, you’ve had your challenges you’ve gotten through all those things. And then you’ve just come to this place of what works for you and what doesn’t work for you, right? And then you can just start eliminating and moving away from those things that that just don’t serve you anymore, right? They just don’t. So why hang on to them and move towards and surround yourself with like minded people, get yourself in that environment of people that are on the same page. And you it will illuminate you because you know, you’re not going to be dragged down by somebody’s negative feedback or boohoo story or I’m a victim or I can’t do that or bla bla bla bla bla lat right you surround yourself around people that are you know that you how you want to feel and who you want to be with. Right so and that makes a huge difference to it really, really does. So that’s why I’m working. I’m honestly the strongest I have felt in I just feel so good. Like I just really do. Like it’s been in my with my aerial silking too. I mean, the strength that I have hired over the last, what like even few months

Leah Van Dolder

I know I’ve seen

Julia Leslie

Leah Van Dolder

gives you

Julia Leslie

and that’s naked, right? Like I look at myself naked in the mirror and go, Holy shit, you look awesome, right like this rockin body and it’s not even just the shape or whatever, it’s just the strength in the how I feel inside about myself now. Yeah, yeah,

Leah Van Dolder

yeah, it’s huge. And you know what I love about your answer there, you didn’t share anything about the weight loss piece, it was all around how you felt. Yeah. And you know, that self love, because I’ve seen this thing into like that self acceptance and self love and doing things that serve you, surrounding yourself with good people. And doing that, that mental work to Yeah, like, it just gets you in such a good place go

Julia Leslie

is such a good place. Because we can really allow ourselves to go down a deep hole, right? And it feels like you’re never going to get out of it. But you really, you want the change, sometimes you don’t know how that change is going to come. And it can really bring you down, right? But only if you want those changes, you have to look at what you’re doing. Look at what you’re doing. Look at the results that you are getting in not just like in all areas of your life. I mean, particularly for me, this time it was in my fitness and my weights and everything. So I was doing all these things, taken all these actions, but I wasn’t getting the results. Right, I was not getting the results. So right then and there. If you’re not getting the results, you got to look at what it is that you’re doing. And it needs to change because it’s not working. So yeah, let’s dive

Leah Van Dolder

into that. Because I think this will give us a pretty good insight to those small sustainable changes that have such a big impact. And like for those of you listening, you know by now that my approach is all around sustainability, and you know, focusing on mindset, and, you know, gentle nutrition and really becoming mindful of all that stuff. And the weight loss is a byproduct of all of it. And, you know, Julie, I just wanted to ask you to some of the nutrition with that.

Julia Leslie

I love that word byproduct. Yeah, byproduct is a byproduct. Yes, it totally is. It’s

Leah Van Dolder

absolutely a weight loss is the byproduct of everything that you’ve been working on, and everything that you have maintained over months here. So let’s talk about nutrition, because there were some small sustainable changes that you made over time, but share with our listeners, what one or two small changes had the biggest impact for you.

Julia Leslie

How so the food diary was a huge impact for me. It taught me to really and you know, like with the portions, like when we first started and you’re like, Okay, you should have this many grams, or you should have one cup of this or that kind of thing. And keeping track of that. It really helped me understand how much I was putting into my body. And I loved your approach that way. Because it was very subtle, that it was just like, let’s just tweak this. And let’s just like, let’s just do four ounces of meat. It had me it held me accountable to just make sure that I was getting the right portion. So that was like that was that was a big one. That was definitely a big one for sure. Subtle, but huge. Yeah.

Leah Van Dolder

Subtle that huge. Yeah, the awareness piece is huge. And because we may think, right, because this is kind of actually going back to what you said within the first couple of minutes of your intro is that I thought I was eating well. And I hear it all the time from women that like right before we talk or we’re right before we start working together, but it’s like I thought I was eating well, I thought I was eating the right portions for my body. But then when you start to write things down, there’s a very big difference between thinking what you’re putting in your body and the reality of what is going in our body. And the journaling, whether it’s taking pictures or whether it’s writing it down, but that’s massive. It does open up our eyes, food and alcohol, right? Yeah,

Julia Leslie

yeah. Yeah. So that really Yeah, that was a huge one. Like I said it was subtle, but it was massive because it opened up my eyes and then The first couple of weeks, it was all about the portions, right? And I remember I would just like, take a snapshot of a, of a recipe I was doing, and I would send it to you. And I’m like, how much of this should I have? You know, so, you know, having that and now understanding what, what I should be putting on my plate as far as each sort of thing. Right. So and then the next phase was learning about like protein. Yeah, I should be having in. So that then was the next subtle change. And then understanding Oh, okay, I should really, I’m not, I’m not getting enough protein here, right. So let’s do something to tweak my diet, again, to bring in more proteins. I think if you had given me all that information, like the first week, or the first two weeks, I would have won. Like it would have been overload, right. And l probably would have gotten discouraged at that point. So that’s what I loved that. It was very subtle. And to the point where you’re just weaving it into your life, and you barely even realize you’re doing it. Yeah, yet, it just becomes that new habit.

Leah Van Dolder

Yeah. Yeah. So subtle. In there,

Julia Leslie

in there, and now it’s in there. Right. So yeah, there are still fun days, you know, I get a little off track. But honestly, now, the new habit, the new thought, the new mindset, it takes over, right? It does it just, I can hear it loud and clear now. So

Leah Van Dolder

yeah, I want to talk about the mindset. And before I do, because you said you can hear it loud and clear, and I want to talk about it. But before we do, I think just summarizing the nutrition piece, because there’s changes in our body when we go through menopause, right? Drop in estrogen, progesterone, and there are absolutely changes with sleep. And you know how our body responds to nutrition and alcohol and stressors and things with nutrition, too. You know, like the awareness around food, alcohol, but also with getting enough protein, eating the right amounts throughout the day, instead of under eating still including your favorite foods, right? That’s right, still including carbohydrates. And finding that balance as for you, because everybody’s a little bit different. Right. Everybody’s got to have that individualized approach.

Julia Leslie

Yeah, yeah. So it’s not like, well, I can still eat dessert. I mean, I don’t eat them every day, but I never did anyways, but you can still have those once in a while. And it’s great. Like, I feel good about it. I mean, there’s so many great nutritious desserts out there, right?

Leah Van Dolder

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Julia Leslie

There’s a recipe I have to share with you. You’re gonna love it. I’ll send you

Leah Van Dolder

good. Yeah, send it on over. All right, let’s talk mindset because like you just said, that new mindset comes in. Tell me about that. Tell me about the biggest mindset shift or the most empowering mindset shift because like you said, it is loud, it is large and in charge, and it’s just helping you continue with confidence. Tell us about that.

Julia Leslie

Okay, so I distinctly remember one time, I was in my pantry, because, you know, I’m working from home and this is the habit I got into right, like going into the fridge going into the pantry. I’m like, What am I in here for? Like, oh, I’m feeling a little peckish about this or that or whatever, probably bored. Anyways, at some point, I remember. You taught me about the pause, just pause, right? Like you’re gonna be and I did, I was in my pantry. And I just remember that. And I went, pause. And then I went, what would Leah do? And I knew the answer. So I was like, Yeah, I do not need a snack right now. So I you know, that’s, and that was, yeah, it was it was massive. And it’s still there. That voice that kind of like, says pause, like just pause like, do you really need to eat? Are you really hungry at the moment?

Leah Van Dolder

Bingo. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’s a big one. And I find like for myself, too, it is, is this ongoing strategy and like you just said, taking that moment because it gets us out of autopilot, right, the scrounging around in the pantry or going to the fridge, you know, at nighttime like that is total autopilot working for you. So, you know, when you take that pause, it allows you to just take a sec, get into that conscious mode and ask yourself, Am I hungry? Like what am I even doing here? Am I thirsty? And yeah, like sometimes, I mean, sometimes you’ll will still eat. But the majority of the time, like I’ve seen in you, Julia, if you get out of the pantry is like, hey, go do something else. Like this is just,

Julia Leslie

yeah. How do you catch yourself just falling into that, that sort of pattern or that habit without even realizing it? Right? So the awareness is huge of what you’re doing right of how you’re behaving. And, like, monitor yourself, I have just started how to, you know, I started to kind of like, paying more attention to how many times I was just walking into that pantry or opening the fridge just for no reason. So now it’s different for me, because you know, I do tend to plan my meals a lot better. Something in the fridge that I know, I can like, for two or three days, I’ve bought some food. And I know what I’m going to be eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. So yeah, yeah, it does. It takes a little it takes effort. I mean, we’re not gonna lie here. It does. It does take effort until it doesn’t anymore. And then and then it just becomes normal. Right. Will take effort. So

Leah Van Dolder

yeah, it does. And, you know, I think it’s good that you you said that because it’s true. Yeah, it does. It does take effort, and it feels uncomfortable. And it feels, yeah, it feels weird when you’re making these these changes, because you’re acting differently, right? Like, instead of going to the pantry or autopilot, going to the pantry, have to stop and have a different thought process and get you out of the pantry. Like that feels very weird in the moment, and the more you practice, you’re building like to call the muscle there in your brain and just you’re working a different brain pathway. I get stronger and easier to do over time. So that’s huge.

Julia Leslie

You just repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, and then all sudden you’re doing it? Yeah. Yeah, we can relate to that like with our areas. So it’s how many times do we have to do the same move over and over again, like that one move I kept struggling with over the last month or so that Cupid kitten? Yeah.

Leah Van Dolder

Oh, yeah, I remember. Like

Julia Leslie

it was funny. And then all of a sudden, one day go in and I’m like, I did it.

Leah Van Dolder

I got it. Yeah. And for those of you listening that have no idea what we’re talking about with aerial silks. It’s kind of like a how do you describe it? It’s the big. Yeah, the ribbons from the ceiling that you climb up and you do some acrobats, things like that.

Julia Leslie

Think you know Cirque du Soleil kind of stuff. Cirque du Soleil.

Leah Van Dolder

Yes, yeah. So the moves like doing these, it takes time, right? Working towards something, it takes time. And I just wanted to thank you so much, really, for sharing your experience around, know where you’re at where you’re at today. Some big changes in your nutrition and your mindset and your behaviors. As we wrap up, I always like asking too, because, you know, you really value investing in yourself and investing in your health. But what would you Was there any last words that you’d like to share with our listeners today who are going through pre menopause or menopause? They’re struggling with their weight, self esteem body image? And just at that tipping point? Yeah, I’m gonna share with them today.

Julia Leslie

Well, I know as a woman, because I am a woman, we tend to put ourselves at the bottom of the totem pole, right? We take care of everyone else in our lives. And we don’t always take care of ourselves the way we don’t put ourselves first all the time. And what I’ve realized is that I need to be 100%, I need to feel good for everything else to work really well around me. Right? And that I am worth that. Yeah, I know, we hear this all the time. We’re, we’re just inundated with it on all the social media and stuff, but it is true. It really comes down to what are you worth? And sometimes we look at the cost of something and we’re like, Oh, that’s too much. Oh, that’s I don’t have that money, or that’s too expensive. But if your child needed that, you would do it and you would find money. Right? We don’t hesitate when it comes to things like education. We don’t hesitate when it comes to taking a vacation. Right? We always find the money for that. Things like that. So investing money into yourself. It’s just what was it like that byproduct for us? It’s just it really is you are you’re making an investment in yourself and you’re going to grow as a person because that’s what happens when you invest is that you grow and it’s going to have such a big ripple effect outside of you. You don’t even know Get how big it is.

Leah Van Dolder

So Julie just wanted to thank you again so much for tuning in and to our listeners too. If you love this episode, can you please drop a five star rating and review? It really helps the growth of the podcast and Julia thank you again for sharing your story and being on I love that.

Julia Leslie

You’re welcome.

Leah Van Dolder

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Reclaim podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, I encourage you to follow rate and review. To learn more about working with me check out my website at live and older.com Thank you again for being here. It means the world to be able to connect with you, girl keep doing amazing things. You have everything that it takes to achieve your goals and be successful at anything that you want.